11 weeks. 

I never thought it would take me quite so long to get back into writing my blog – I had visions of myself, a week or so after ‘popping’ my baby out, sitting in a lovely quiet cafe, him sleeping peacefully in his pram next to me as I sipped a piping hot coffee, tapping away merrily… nearly 11 weeks of hard parenting later(!!!) here I am, laughing that I ever thought id even be sitting down after a week (ouch), let alone going anywhere quiet for fear of disturbing the peace due to placing said baby in the dreaded, aforementioned pram (Joseph hates his) and when really was the last time I actually had a hot drink, hot?!
What I mean to say is that, time is of the essence and when I’m not being milked like a human daisy cow, I’m either sleeping, feeling guilty or worrying about the colour of my babies poo; welcome to motherhood!

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be celebrating Mother’s Day this year with a child of my own I would have said you were crazyyyyy; I would have said I didn’t want a baby and I couldn’t have one – I wasn’t ready and having one wasn’t part of my, oh so vague plan to one day do “something” with my degree and then perhaps see a few more countries in perhaps the near future. But, Mother’s Day 2017 and here I am! And I can honestly say, that despite my previous paragraphs tone (I do joke), I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. It is true that a lot of the time I don’t have a bloody clue what I’m doing – I thought that would have passed by now, but with each new day, there’s a new thing I have no clue about – But it doesn’t matter, because turns out that it really is the nature of the beast and everyone is in the same boat – as cliche as that sounds!
I look back at my old life now and it just feels a bit empty and the time – what did I do with all that free time?! Because now, everyday flys by and is full of new things; just having this amazing life sized tamagotchi to look after and care for who utterly depends on you and loves you whole heartedly, it’s like nothing else.

There really is no better feeling then waking up in the morning and seeing your babies face smiling up at you (granted, not always smiling – neither am I when its 5am..) or when you do something that makes your baby laugh or smile – it makes every other job or thing you’ve ever done, just pale in comparison, because how can anything else really be as fun or rewarding or as memorable as that?

For a girl who a year ago was still pulling her face out of a toilet bowl every Saturday/Sunday morning, I think I have adjusted pretty well and I like to think that I’m the perfect example of how anyone can do it -no matter how scary it seems at first. Because babies just need you and milk and that’s really pretty much it. They don’t care where you live or how much you have in the bank or weather or not you’ve brushed your hair that day, which is fab – they just need your love and I challenge any new parent not to have that in abundance.

Our beautiful boy Joseph has already grown and changed so so much that it’s hard to picture him as a newborn now and amazingly enough, my mind has already begun the process of slowly but surely erasing any birthing memories, so much so that when I saw a tiny baby at the health centre this morning, I almost convinced myself I was ready for child number two (thankfully I have the previous blog entry to remind myself of ghastly details and keep me embryo-free for a good while longer!!) but I can totally see why having babies can become an addiction almost, because it really is the most amazing, scary, lovely and challenging experience ever. Okay, it is also very very hard – I still have my little (some not so little) lack of sleep fuelled break downs in aldi when the baby just won’t stop crying for no reason and still have panics when he hasn’t gained quite enough weight but the lows come with the most wonderful highs and I’m sure I’ll be writing plenty about both from now on – now I’ve finally put pen back to paper and returned to my blog!

I’m really interested to know how any other new mothers getting on?

Talk to me 🙂

Hollie. xo

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One comment

  1. For what it’s worth, Arthur is 8 and a half months old now and I still sometimes feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and still have little meltdowns too! Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly. And I totally know what you mean about not having time to blog – I can’t remember the last time I found half an hour to jot down some thoughts! I’m still planning on at some point…🙈 x

    Liked by 1 person

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